A fraction of the story.

I have wanted to sit down and write about my love story with Benjamin R. Fairweather for sometime now... put it into words, or at least give a valiant effort in describing some of the pieces of how we came to be...

And who knows if I'll ever post this because I get this overwhelming gut reaction that something's are better kept sacred ....

By this I mean: I fear to cheapen what we have by poorly describing it, us, this  - and how it all happend or weakening it by being transparent...

I also feel that it's important to take the risk.

I sorta feel like I need to liberate us, our story.  So people, know what is what.  But also so a piece of us is set free.

I know for sure that LOVE in general wants to shout itself out - from the mountain tops....
it always has and I can bet, it always will.  Since Freeport's terrain is pretty flat, this blog is probably the closest thing I'm gonna get to a mountain.

So here it goes:

Ben and I met through a mutual friend on Facebook.

Yes, Facebook :).... (at least it wasn't Match.com or Snaphimup.net or some other porn site)

It was organic...

I wasn't looking, he wasn't searching.... (at least that's what we tell ourselves)

Regardless of the vehicle of that fateful cross section several years ago... his comments on my friends wall made more sense to me than I usually make to myself and from that realization, I instantly friend requested him.

He had that "x"tra chromosome and I was intrigued.   I actually wanted to "poke" him too but that feature always seems a little weirdo.  Thankfully, he accepted. And if I was smart, I should probably say the rest is history and stop here, but I'll keep going. :)

I remember his profile picture was a circle target with a really small him in the middle... and I had no idea what was behind that symbol, or that I was actually shooting at a bullseye.   Ben and I were instant magnets -  We were polar opposites to be exact, as he lived in Australia and I in Illinois.  Like Harold and Maude or opposite sides of the Universe, at least physically.... but mentally it was a very short distance between our beliefs, our ideals, and the creative process - We bonded over what seemed to be the most significant things - the most Important things and eventually we found ourselves superimposed emotionally. Bondoed like velcro.  Our relationship became more real after video chats at about month 9 after knowing each other, previous to that, it was yahoo text chat sessions, emails and letters.

Ben became like Charlie from "Charlie's Angels".... lol. :)

I could hear his voice but seldom saw his face... and We communicated on all levels, no joke and if there was a stone uncovered you can be sure I picked it up for later to someday discover...

I remember... that I learned to remember.  We talked about our past... our childhood and what made us who we are today.  I could see the future, all that it was going to be... I felt like I had finally woke up and could see for miles.

Our fodder was as romantic as it was pragmatic... We would send little inspiring nuggets back and forth... music, books, ideas, jars of juju - etc.  We would give each other little information gifts, every day.  From a business level we collaborated on several projects, from corporate websites, a music album, trade shows, videos and last but not least photography.

I will never forget the day I told him I was going to someday be a professional photographer and he laughed at me square in the face and said, your going to have to get yourself a better camera, an EYE,  stop editing on Picasa and I'll believe it when I see it.  He was my biggest critic and fan (still is ;)

It became a challenge and in that time he taught me everything I know about photography today.. from the technical basics to the fact that I had to graduate from the P setting to Manual.  To know my camera....  and more importantly, connect with my subject.  It became a great way for us to collaborate and so I set out to Build a Photography Business.  For myself and my two daughters initially, but ultimately for something we could share and grow together if he ever came to the US...

He was my muse and as I designed the dream, he remained the rock in which I could whirling dervish around and still keep my center.

Ben's Australian life consisted of hypnotherapy by day and post by night.  His passions were making music and taking photos.  I was a marketing director at a rock crushing equipment manufacturer.  Both of those careers eventually vanished...

Meeting Ben and finding love was literally like making a vow to live passionately... So We planted  that seed and watered it with communication.

One of the most integral parts of our long distance relationship was learning to communicate in another way - - - an o-so-secret way... we learned to touch +++ across the planet - - - through spirit, through the astral, whatever you want to call it.  *Don't call me a new-ager, either.  An Extraterrestrial, maybe... but that remains to be verified.  It's seriously a true story.

We found that when we could reach each other in spirit, there was no distance and by using a few tools like a quiet mind and enough space, we could reach each other.  We found comfort, healing and most always our little adventures were regenerative.  Ben and I started a little private meeting place on Ning (back when it was an open social network) to archive and write out our experiences so we could see what was going on.   I am thankful for that documentation.... its like a time capsule of our journey here.  It marks the foundation... or the constitution of us.

Through all of that We learned to see what to do next....

I traveled to Australia for my job and that's where I met him for the first time.  The best way to describe our meeting was like going home..  You know when you have that "as seen on tv" snuggly on and your sitting there in silence, warm, content, a wash of "I'm here and now - and that's all I really need"... yeah, that place.

Home.

I got off that 20 hour plane ride and was fearless and freaked out all at the same time!  We spent two weeks together and then went back to our original broadcasting after - although this time everything was different.  Meeting in the flesh was like an initiation.  Things shifted, priorities changed...

We passed the test.

There weren't whatifs anymore.... whatif he's like Napoleon Dynomite, whatif I can't stand his idiosyncrasies, whatif he kisses like a suckerfish? Whatif I've made all of this up in my head......?

I can honestly own that I've not always been an easy bitch to love but this spark was true - obscure but true.

Ben showed me what it means to love.
How it's done....
From the inside-out,
and this requires me to love myself first...
dive through the middle of all of that and then it is possible to love another.

Simple.

So we came up with a logo for our business that represented a magnet, a tree with an identical root to branch structure and then some much needed space in-between.

We think this symbol will morph and grow but initially, it made sense to represent us as a whole.  After that seal,  I thought he neeeeeeeeeeds to get here. So I some how summoned him.

We met one more time in Las Vegas for three weeks before we decided to pull the very big trigger of him moving to the US..... we have had our tidal waves and our droughts but through a lot of red tape, hoola hoops and sleepless nights, he was given access to get his Amazingness over here.

Sometimes it feels like it took lifetimes but in reality the paperwork process took only about a year.
We live together here in Illinois now.... I have two amazing little girls that surround us and we are raising a bird by the name of Francis.

We take pictures of people, places and things for a living and we have a dynamic that could be described as fire and water. We are using those basic principles to keep our daily inspired.

I am blessed... We have found something specific.  I've found the most important ingredient, and so from here I will say the rest is future... not history, but forward.

xxx